The weirdest day of my life
by Sinister-Sisters
Summary: “Must be a dead twin,” Rukia finally said. “We should do a Konso for her.”“Dead twin!” Lyn exclaimed and Lavane gave them an incredulous look.“I may be dead, but we are not twins,” Lavane said. WARNING boredom fic. Mild violence and blood. Read ANs plea


AN Read please!! This was written for a laugh. If you don't like my sense of humor, oh well. I thought it was funny. Sorry if anyone is out of character, I haven't read that much Bleach.

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"We caught a high spiritual pressure on radar not long ago. There are hollows headed for that area now. I'd suggest getting there quickly, Ichigo."

"I'm on it, Rukia. Jeez, give me some credit." Ichigo replied annoyed. He flashed stepped as quickly as he dared to the location the spike had come from. The nearer he got, the stronger, and stranger, the spiritual pressure felt. Miles flew by and he reached his destination in a few seconds. It was a clearing in the midst of a wooded area with leaves of golden brown blanketing the area, a quite typical scene for late fall.

In the center of the clearing he saw lying on the leafy ground a girl's soul, hardly older than him, on the ground to the left of her body. Her body was bloodied and a strange dagger protruded from her chest.

"Fascinating!" a silver haired young man muttered under his breath staring at the girls body. His back was to Ichigo so he couldn't see the man's face, but he felt the man's spiritual pressure and it was way stronger than any average mortal. Could this man be the strange spiritual pressure that the radar picked up, Ichigo wondered.

The man reached out to grab the shattered chain of fate and Ichigo was just about to stop him when the girl's soul suddenly snatched his wrist and threw him into a nearby tree. Ichigo gaped. New souls were not supposed to be able to move around like that and from the looks of things, this girl was very recently dead.

The blue haired girl groaned and slowly stood up shaking her head and glanced down at her body. Then, to Ichigo's absolute shock, the girl's body also groaned and stood up. The body and soul stood looking at each other for a full minute then the soul said "Well this can't be good."

"You're telling me!" the body replied. "Jeez! First we ripple, and then it turns out we brought Kabuto with us, and now somehow you ended up outside our body while I'm still stuck inside."

"I think that's because I'm supposed to by dead, Lyn," the soul replied dryly.

Needless to say, Ichigo was baffled.

"But that doesn't work! I'm supposed to die when you die, Lavane," the body, Lyn, said motioning to herself.

"I'm aware of that," Lavane, the soul, snapped. She adopted a thoughtful look, placing on hand on her chin and the other on her hip.

Lyn on the other hand started pacing, but soon stopped when she felt something pulling at her chest. "…What the heck?" she muttered looking down at a chain that was connecting her to Lavane.

The two girls, soul and body, looked at the chain incredulously and asked at the same time, "What is this thing?"

"What are you doing?!" Rukia demanded as she landed beside Ichigo. Ichigo was too stunned to move. This was weirder than anything he had ever seen, and the substitute shinigami had seen a lot of weird things. "OY! Answer me! Have you found the disturbance yet?!" she waved her hand in front of his face trying to get his attention.

Lavane and Lyn snapped around to find where the noise was coming from, jumping into a defensive stance. Unfortunately, the chain connecting them wasn't going to let them off easily, as they both jumped… in opposite directions. Lyn was the first to get her footing and poor Lavane was yanked by the chain (no pun intended) in the opposite direction than she meant to go and nearly landed on her face.

Rukia looked over at the two girls and did a double take. There was a pause and staring all around. "Must be a dead twin," Rukia finally said. "We should do a Konso for her."

"Dead twin?!?!" Lyn exclaimed and Lavane gave them an incredulous look.

"I may be dead, but we are _not _twins," Lavane said.

"She's also rather clumsy as demonstrated earlier," Lyn smirked.

Lavane glared. "That was _you're_ fault. Not mine."

"It wasn't me!" Lyn shot back. "It's this stupid chain!" And for emphasis, she gave the chain a hard yank.

Lavane staggered forward and angrily grabbed hold of the chain and yanked back in retaliation. Lyn was aught off guard and stumbled forward. What was really strange was that she was jerked out of the body and stumbled forward as the body collapsed on the ground. Silence reigned once again as they all stared at the body. "Hah! I was just stuck!" Lyn yelled happily. "Now I'm free and- … why is the chain getting shorter?"

"Because we're supposed to be the same person, idiot!" Lavane snapped as the two stumbled closer pulled by the offending object. Rukia and Ichigo watched, helpless to do anything but watch and flabbergasted at the whole impossible situation, as the two stumbled together and suddenly fused together.

Lavane staggered and fell to the ground, exhausted. "This," she muttered, "is officially the strangest day of my life. And that's saying something."

"I could say the same thing!" Ichigo finally blurted out. "Who, wait no, _what_ are you?!"

Without missing a beat she responded dryly, "As of right now, I'm dead."

Rukia, finally regaining her senses glanced down at her radar. "I believe we've found our disturbance," she remarked as she noted the erratic readings it was giving her. "Give her a soul burial while I notify Soul Society of this… situation."

"But- but- didn't you see that?!?!" Ichigo exclaimed pointing accusingly at the bluenette.

"OY!" Lavane yelped. "I have a name! Well technically two, but that's beside the point."

"Just do it," growled Rukia as she pulled out a cell phone type thing. (AN: I don't know what they call it okay)

Ichigo grimaced and stalked angrily toward the strange girl, pulling out his zanpakuto. The girl grew alarmed and quickly began backing up while saying, "Whoa there buddy, what's with the sword? Hey wait a sec! You don't even know me, there's no reason to attack."

"Would you hold still?" Ichigo snarled.

"Heck no!" she shot back and got up and started running. He took off after her, cursing under his breath. "Quit chasing me!" she yelled and started making strange signs with her hands. "I'm going back to where I came from where people don't attack random strangers! Ok maybe they do, but not without provocation usually…"

"I'm not attacking you!" Ichigo yelled back.

"Yeah, sure you're not. You're only running at me with a GIGANTIC sword!" She finished with her hand signs and slammed her hands onto the ground. Symbols spiderwebbed from her hands and formed a circle on the ground. "Yes! The jutsu worked this time!!" she exclaimed giddily as a blue vortex formed in the air.

Just then the silver haired man had decided to counterattack and ran at Lavane brandishing a kunai. She instinctively dodged to the side and he, unable to stop himself, ran strait into the vortex, which disappeared with a whir. There was a moment of silence where Ichigo was once again dumfounded and Lavane just stood there gaping at the space where the vortex had once existed.

"NO FAIR!!!" she shrieked falling to her knees. "That took all of my chakra!"

Rukia flash-stepped to the two and asked "Is it really to hard for you to do a simple Konso? Really! And what was that huge reatsu disturbance? If we're not careful we'll draw Hollows from miles around. Are you even listening to me?!"

"Eh?" Ichigo replied blankly. "She just- what was… how far are we from her body?"

"Hm? About four miles, why?"

"And we've only been gone about a minute, right?"

"Probably three. Where are you going with this?"

"She's a new soul and she just ran four miles in about three minutes, which isn't even possible for normal humans, and created some kind of weird vortex thingy! Then the other guy ran into it and disappeared and it disappeared!! Something tells me that she's not normal!" He yelled at her growing more and more animated. They looked at the girl in question who was kneeling on the grass crying anime tears.

"All the more reason to get her to Soul Society as quickly as possible!!" Rukia snapped and quickly ran and Konsoed the girl before she could react. "There, that takes care of that. Now, let's get back to work, she's Soul Society's responsibility now."

"Don't tell me you're not at least curious about that girl," Ichigo said skeptically. Rukia scoffed and they left, arguing.

In Soul Society:

Lavane groaned and sat up slowly. She tried to open her eyes but immediately squeezed them shut again and covering her eyes with her hand. She slowly allowed herself to get used to the light and opened her eyes again and gasped at the sight of the busy city she was in, it was huge! "Well, we're not in Konoha anymore," she mumbled to herself.

"_O jeez. If you're going to quote something, don't be so corny about it!"_ Lyn thought spoke to her.

"Shut up." Lavane replied wearily.

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AN: …Yeah, my mind is weird. Alright peoples, explanation time. Lavane is able to travel between worlds via Vortexes or Ripples. Vortexes are voluntary, Ripples are not. She has another soul trapped in her body, which would be Lyn. Lyn is… sometimes helpful, but mostly likes to get Lavane into mischief. They originate in the Naruto world, hence Kabuto and Jutsus and kunai and all that good stuff.

This'll probably just end up being a one-shot…I have no ideas of what to do for a plotline, so, yeah. Unless I get a whole bunch of people asking me to continue, this is probably it… Feel free to correct any and all spelling/grammar mistakes. Critiquing is welcome. Flames are ignored or laughed at. I like reviews.


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